Understand How and Why Relationships Change Over Time
Often times I have observed how people change in relationships and become complete strangers to each other. I used to wonder why this happens and what triggers it. My primary motivation to learn Jyotish was to seek answers to burning questions about why and how do we behave and what is the force that triggers us to behave in a certain way.
A little story about how it all began.
(If you are not interested, skip to the next section)
Years ago when my only life motivation was to find success in my career which I did, I got everything I wanted and I dreamed of. A dream apartment and an exotic car and the unconditional love of my husband, my parents, siblings, and friends. What more can I ask of? (I was in my Rahu Dasha) But this is the period I started to feel more restless, sad and even depressed. I could not wrap my head around it and found it hard to cope up with the stress that was building up. I had no reason to feel what I was feeling. (The end of Rahu and transition into Jupiter) I turned to meditation and spirituality. I met my Guru and his presence totally transformed my life. The minutes of deep meditation gave me immense pleasure and peace and happiness that no amount of money in the bank could provide. A single moment with my Guru gave me fulfillment and satisfaction and was a soothing balm to my restless mind.
I almost lost track of everything in terms of the material world and I was completely immersed in mantras, chanting, spiritual books, sadhana, etc. I learned to recite the entire rudram and Lord Shiva became the Love of my life. (Transitioned completely into my Jupiter Mahadasha and Jupiter Antardasha)
A friend of mine introduced me to astrology and asked me for my birth information, with raised eyebrows my immediate reaction was – “Look I don’t believe in this” but hesitantly I gave him the details and I was stunned with the level of accuracy in his reading about my deep personality traits that I thought no one could ever find out. That sparked my interest and I read almost every single book on astrology (Learning and Books are deeply connected to Jupiter). I met Dr. Arjun Pai and conversations with him had transformed my life completely, the way he looks at Jyotish gave me clues on how to approach this divine science to understand who I am, what is my purpose, why certain events happened at a certain time, I was able to trace everything and understand things at a much deeper level. When used as a tool for self-discovery Jyotish becomes even more powerful.
My life transformed with Spirituality in conjunction with Astrology everything happening at the right time through the grace of my master Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. This was the main motivation to start Cosmic Insights so people can look unto Jyotish as a pursuit of fulfillment.
Relationships and Planets – Dasha Sandhi
“The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change” – Heraclitus
As much as we all want to resist change, we never could.
Our feelings and emotions change with the movement of the moon. Every 2.5 days we are going through various emotions. Our interests, likes, dislikes, mannerisms, physical looks, motives, desires, behavior, purpose – everything changes.
Our birth chart is a snapshot of the configuration of planets at the time of our birth. But the sky keeps moving and the position of planets keep changing and with reference to our birth chart, we are experiencing these changes at all levels of our existence.
The most important factor of understanding change is “Dasha” in Sanskrit which indicates planetary periods. There are 9 planets and according to Parashara, each planet has a particular time period and they all fall in a certain sequence.
And within each Dasha we also experience sub-level periods of other planets as well. This is called Antardasha. And within Antardasha we experience another sub-level called Paryantardasha and it continues. If our birth time is absolutely correct we could even find the configuration of planets affecting us for any given day.
We behave differently during each of these periods. Everything changes from our perspectives to personality as time goes on as we transit from one Dasha to another.
Say 2 people met each other during their Mercury Dasha which is full of zeal, enthusiasm, playfulness, adventure, curiosity – they start their journey with likemindedness and they enjoy doing things together and exploring life with a free spirit. But now, if one person gets ready to move to the next Dasha which is Ketu – Suddenly there is a sense of withdrawal, need to be alone, not interested in the mundane, the urge to walk away etc. Now the mercury person finds it very weird and is unable to comprehend what has happened suddenly in this relationship, and the Ketu person fails to relate to the mercury person at a deeper level. So both of them experience dissatisfaction and a period of readjusting and recalibrating based on the Dasha change.
This period is called “Dasha Sandhi” and it is one of the most important factors when compatibility between 2 people are analyzed. Sandhi means “Junction”. It’s like a bridge, you are neither here nor there.
It is at these sandhi moments the relationship between two people takes a U-turn or comes to a standstill. During this time there is no place for immaturity and impatience. If you are aware that this is going to be a period of change, you will be able to equip yourself to tread carefully and come back in sync when the transition is over.
The same happens with other planets as well.
We experience these Dasha Sandhi periods between
|Planet A||Planet B|
For example, if 2 people meet when Person A runs Jupiter Mahadasha and Sub Dasha of Moon, Person B runs Jupiter Mahadasha but with the sub-Dasha of Rahu, both of them enjoy each others company. They feel expansive and have a positive outlook on life.
But when Person B moves from Jupiter – Rahu to Saturn – Saturn a huge shift happens. Suddenly Person B becomes serious, a little pessimistic, and gets “real”. They no longer are interested in the dreamy expensive nature of life but want to be more practical and realistic with their expectations. Person A finds it hard to believe that Person B has completely changed and Person B is no longer able to relate with person A.
But if they are sensible and aware they can go through this phase by understanding the nature of the change it brings. They can use this time period to renew their relationship and experience a different aspect of life together.
The gear shift periods for each Dasha Sandhi is given below
Courtesy – Barbara Pijan
It is calculated based on10% of the length of Dasha period of both the planets involved.
|Planet A||Planet B||Years|
|Ketu||Venus||approx 2 years 9 months
|Venus||Sun||approx 2 years 7 months
|Sun||Moon||approx 1 year 7 months
|Moon||Mars||approx 1 year 9 months
|Mars||Rahu||approx 2 years 6 months
|Rahu||Jupiter||approx 3 years 4 months
|Jupiter||Saturn||approx 3 years 3 months
|Saturn||Mercury||approx 3 years 4 months
|Mercury||Ketu||approx 2 years 4 months
So this is one of the reasons why people change.
If you understand it from an astrology perspective it becomes easy to cope up with the change and manage your relationships.
This is not just for married couples, it can be the case between every single relationship you encounter in life be it friend, parents, siblings, etc.
Jai Guru Dev!
Cover photo credit – Dolls of India Art Store