This is an imaginary cosmic chit-chat between Mars and Ketu as they crash into Leo to stir up drama, detachment, and a little karmic mischief. Expect fiery one-liners, spiritual sarcasm, and brutally honest roasts for every rising sign.
Welcome to the “Mars-Ketu” Podcast
Mars: I’m Mars – red-hot, always ready to fight, and currently operating at maximum chaos.
Ketu: And I’m Ketu – invisible, indifferent, and here to unplug your ego.
Mars: We’re conjunct in Leo – the kingdom of flair, drama, and hair-flips.
Ketu: Basically, we’re here to shake every rising sign out of their comfort zone… or just set it on fire.
Mars: From unfinished love stories to random relocations, passive-aggressive tweets, and spiritual midlife crises – nobody’s safe.
Ketu: But hey, it’s all for your growth.
Mars: If by growth you mean learning life lessons the hard way.
Ketu: Which is the only way we offer.
🎙 Aries Rising
Mars: Ah, the 5th house! Time to relive that unfinished romance. I’m feeling creative. Maybe set something on fire? Emotionally, I mean.
Ketu: Or maybe just… let it go? That love was from 17 lifetimes ago. You’re obsessed.
Mars: Not obsessed. Passionate!
Ketu: Same thing. Try not to write poetry that ruins your job interview.
🎙 Taurus Rising
Mars: Home sweet home! Let’s rearrange the furniture… aggressively.
Ketu: I packed your bags. You’re emotionally done here.
Mars: But… I just got new curtains!
Ketu: Too bad. Your comfort zone is officially under spiritual renovation.
🎙 Gemini Rising
Mars: Let’s launch five new projects, fight with our sibling, and post a hot take online!
Ketu: [deletes Twitter account mid-rant]
Mars: Hey! That tweet was gold!
Ketu: You’re welcome. I saved your reputation. Again.
🎙 Cancer Rising
Mars: Let’s speak the truth and torch a few relationships.
Ketu: Silence is power. Also, your lunch habits are destroying your karma.
Mars: Can I just roast someone and eat nachos?
Ketu: Only if you want to destroy your digestive system and your social life.
🎙 Leo Rising
Mars: I AM the moment. I AM the king!
Ketu: You are a humble servant of destiny.
Mars: Ew, no. I want my throne!
Ketu: How about a yoga mat instead?
🎙 Virgo Rising
Mars: I’m ready to work 27 hours a day!
Ketu: I’ve scheduled mandatory isolation and a spiritual crisis.
Mars: What? I have deadlines!
Ketu: I scheduled you a retreat. You’re welcome.
🎙 Libra Rising
Mars: Time to network, pitch, and dominate the socials.
Ketu: Social burnout loading… 87%…
Mars: But likes! But leads!
Ketu: But loneliness. Try volunteering instead.
🎙 Scorpio Rising
Mars: Career domination mode: ON.
Ketu: Ego implosion countdown: 3… 2… 1…
Mars: No! I was finally getting noticed!
Ketu: Enjoy your public downfall -or try teamwork for once.
🎙 Sagittarius Rising
Mars: I’m off to challenge the guru and rewrite philosophy.
Ketu: You just discovered Wikipedia yesterday.
Mars: I’m an enlightened warrior!
Ketu: You’re one poorly timed speech away from exile.
🎙 Capricorn Rising
Mars: Let’s crack open some secrets and get rich.
Ketu: Or let’s burn your assets and ego. Choose.
Mars: Can I at least keep my fixed deposit?
Ketu: Not if it’s funding your lower nature.
🎙 Aquarius Rising
Mars: Time to confront my partner and win every argument!
Ketu: Or… implode your marriage and eat dinner alone.
Mars: Wow. Dramatic much?
Ketu: I’m you. But enlightened. Try humility.
🎙 Pisces Rising
Mars: I’m ready to destroy my enemies, fix everyone’s problems, and save the world!
Ketu: And I’m here to remind you… your liver hates you.
Mars: Ugh, fine. I’ll eat salad and do seva.
Ketu: Now we’re talking. Forgive, forget, fight only if it’s worth it.
Ketu, the Moon’s South Node, and Mars, the planet of action and competition, come together in Leo from June 7th to July 28th, 2025. Unlock your personalized prediction now on align27 app.
